I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
