my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She even gives head with a lisp.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Everclear isn't food dammit
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
