I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
smell my finger.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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