..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
