I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Randomize
