Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
