Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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