recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
