Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
