singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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