I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
