Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
