even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
