You can't special order awesome
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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