You're my little dorito
Will you blow on my dice?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
