It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I want her autograph on my taint
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
