dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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