No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
