we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
