fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
