this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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