I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
