She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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