I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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