I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
