you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
