just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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