theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you made out with another girl for some wings
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
