So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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