Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
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