mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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