Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
