Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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