I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
