im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
it's not cheating when I paid for it
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I supernannyed him into submission
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
