i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
