We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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