He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
