Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
