i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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