I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
