Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
