Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
