But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
where are my eyebrows?
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