yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
