Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I cannot find my penis.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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