Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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