Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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