You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Randomize
