That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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