i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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