So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just high enough for therapy.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
