I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
