their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
