Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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