y did u give ur computer a hand job?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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