kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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