i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
