Kiss
Puke
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
