Grow some girl-balls and come out already
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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