no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
