kristin has been a bad kristin
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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