they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
