More tranny stories later!
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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