every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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