just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
