somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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